Do Polyamorous Relationships Work For Escorts?
Do Polyamorous Relationships Work For Escorts? Polyamorous relationships are hard, even when someone isn't balancing life as an escort. While all relationships are based around trust and communications, polyamorous relationships die without both. There is always a risk of jealousy, mistrust, and potentially running the
Do Polyamorous Relationships Work For Escorts?
Polyamorous relationships are hard, even when someone isn't balancing life as an escort. While all relationships are based around trust and communications, polyamorous relationships die without both. There is always a risk of jealousy, mistrust, and potentially running the risk of constantly having to walk on eggshells. And these are just the problems you can come across dating with a polyamorous web without any sex work hang-ups.
As a sex worker, there is an unfortunate stigma that these people are unclean and full of diseases. In 2015, a study was published explaining that sexually related risks are more harshly judged than other comparable health risks. This essentially means there is a higher likelihood of someone believing the problem is much worse than it is. This is the same in the day-to-day assumptions of escorts. It is believed, even though many use several different forms of protection, that they are somehow more unclean than others. This assumption can mean it can be hard for an escort to find people that are willing to put themselves at risk.
As an escort, there are many things to consider before getting into a polyamorous relationship and risks that are involved. And it can be even harder to convince others there is nothing to worry about while also being honest. It's even tempting to lie to feel accepted in a relationship that can potentially be more fulfilling. And while all that makes a relationship like this harder, is there anything actually stopping an escort from a relationship like this?
What Exactly Is Polyamory?
The definition of polyamory is different for everyone. While some relationships are equal among all parties, others have a priority relationship and side relationships among that. This can also fall under open relationships as well, although it gets a little murkier there. The main idea behind polyamorous relationships has to do with consent from all parties, which doesn't necessarily happen in all relationships in an open relationship. It can get even more confusing if any of these partners are also looking to date as well.
The idea that polyamory is new or somehow wrong is totally false. As far as humans have existed, polyamory has been practiced, whether to raise children in bigger groups or a way to signify wealth and power. It is even practiced in some nomadic tribes with a woman marrying brothers. There are even more stories of how polyamory works, but one of the most well-known polyamorous groups are Mormons.
As with any other religion, Mormons are not only the illegal polygamy that was publicized by American media. While the practice of having multiple wives has not been officially practiced in a hundred years, the Brown family from Sister Wives is also part of the Mormon religion. Sensationalized by these media portrayals, polyamorous relationships are much more normal than the media leads us to believe.
Recent Reemergence Of Polyamory
Ethical non-monogamy, also known as polyamory, is on the rise. With 1 in 5 single adults saying they have engaged in polyamory, there are more people willing to say they have engaged in it. And while it can be hard to wrap your mind around the fact it is more common than you could have ever believed, it is true. While much of this can be blamed on the internet and the consistent spread of new ideas and experiences, it is also a fact that humans are not the best with monogamy. Monogamy is a recent tradition with the Industrial Age and marriages originally not being for the love of the other person but the love of God. But as time has morphed what marriage originally was for, people are also finding it harder to love only one person in the same way you love a spouse.
Others just have never had much luck with monogamous relationships. Many of those people belong to kink communities where it is the most acceptable to be open about that type of relationship. While being out to the rest of the world about being in a polyamorous relationship is not usual, it is becoming a thing. While it seems now that most of these pairings either originate from a kink community or from the most eccentric in society it is becoming more normal. People are much more accepting of it, especially considering the entirety of human history has been full of polyamory.
Biggest Hurdles Faced By Escorts in Polyamory
So why bring up any of these histories? What it comes down to is escorts are not in a traditional line of work in any sense, which can lend itself to looking for non-traditional relationships where it can feel like people will be more understanding. The problem is, that is not always the case. Some people see this as a risk to their web of relationships. Especially since these relationships are hardly ever linear or even circular, there can be a huge risk to the web to have someone with such a varied sexual past become a part of it all.
A huge challenge for escorts can be the idea that they are much more likely to be disease riddled. While many escorts use as much protection as humanly possible in this line of work, others are not so easily convinced that this isn't as bad as it seems. While they can be tested for everything under the sun, there is still a stigma towards sex workers even in less traditional relationships. These people still believe that they aren't clean and don't want to risk the others in their web potentially getting something from this one person.
But even past that, it still comes back to the stigmatization of sex work. Again, many escorts take any and all precautions necessary to avoid any sexually transmitted illnesses as well as pregnancy for female workers. But it can be proven they have nothing and still be passed over to be a part of polyamorous relationships. Depending on how the relationship dynamics are set up, other partners would not be comfortable with the idea their partners were with a sex worker. This can be enough for others to pass up being with an escort. And it mainly limits how many partners the escort and/or their partners can be with.
This issue can be intertwined with partners thinking the escort is unclean but can also be a separate issue entirely. While some people won't even consider a sex worker even with testing, others do not want to be intimate with anyone else who is directly intimate with an escort. It really limits who the escort and their partners want to be with and can feel a bit isolating. But there are people that are willing to look past that and be with escorts in this type of relationship.
How To Make It Work
While there is an added layer of complication, polyamorous relationships with escorts are similar in the sense that the basic rules are the same. Communication is key, trust is a must, and you truly do have to work to make the relationship successful. So what exactly are the dos and don'ts of what can be the most complicated relationships you'll ever find?
Don't: Make your relationship be something it's not. Especially if you are already in an established relationship looking for something else, don't look for the person to fit your expectations. While, yes, the person should respect you and your partner, their relationship with your partner doesn't have to look the same as the relationship you have with them. And make sure the other person feels that they have their own voice, not just making it work for everything you want.
Do: You need to ask for what you need. While this seems like the most obvious thing, it can be hard if you're a people pleaser. Never assume your partners know what you need and don't make them feel bad for you having to tell them. Your partners can't read your mind and being passive-aggressive will only work for so long before you completely piss off your partners. Even if your needs may feel irrational, they are still important to tell your partners because they can help you figure out exactly what you need
Don't: Take sides with partners. Partners will always have disagreements, whether they are polyamorous or not. When a disagreement does happen, you may be able to help. You may also not be able to help and you need to be aware of that to start. And even if you can help and your partners want your honest opinion, give it, but try not to make either party feel like their being ganged up on. That is destructive for all and no one walks away from an interaction like that feeling good.
Do: Try to be flexible. While you want to be flexible in any relationship, it is especially important to be flexible for an even more complicated relationship. And especially if one partner is split between two people, it can seem like the partner is not present. This can all be from life problems or personal problems they might not want to delve completely into with others. Life happens and that alone is reason enough to stay flexible. But when you have two people vying for attention from one person, that can be challenging. If both people want to have the partner stay over five nights a week, the smartest solution might be to split the time by three nights with each and then one night at their own place. It helps to be flexible and willing to find unconventional solutions for unconventional problems.
Don't: Make assumptions about your partner's other partners. This can be one of the hardest things to do. Whether that's assuming the new partner want to get into the original relationship or to be with more than one person, never assume. The old saying stays as true as ever, especially as the relationship becomes more complicated. Again, you should always be flexible and there is nothing wrong with keeping yourself open to more but you need to do it respectfully. Relationships are all different and there is no reason you should expect any new relationship to follow old ones. It's not realistic to believe relationships between you and another partner will be similar or even relatively similar to others or to the relationship your partner has with the new partner.
Do: Know your limits. Again, something that is harped on in a monogamous relationship, it is extremely important to be aware of your limits and needs and what makes you happy. You don't necessarily need to have all your limits or needs or happiness right on the tip of your tongue but it is helpful to go into the relationship with a general idea. This makes it so much easier to ask for what you need but to also let your partners know how far you're willing to go with certain things as well as how they can help make you happy. While no one should ever rely on others for their happiness, it does help to have people in your life who know these things and will strive to make you happy just as much as you want to make them happy. But this also means you need to be brutally honest with yourself and your partners so you can build a more trusting and open relationship.
So Do Polyamorous Relationships Work For Escorts?
The short answer is yes. The long answer is it depends on the escort and the people they surround themselves with. There are so many things that can happen with polyamory, let alone add a controversial job title to it and it can be hard. But if an escort finds the right people and an accepting group, polyamory can work just as well for them as anyone else.
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