Escort: To Tell or Not to Tell. Gaining the Support of Family and Friends

Escort: To Tell or Not to Tell. Gaining the Support of Family and Friends

Many will remember the movie Pretty Woman, starring Richard Gere and Julia Roberts. Billed a romantic comedy it offers, glitz, glamour, and fantasy – principally in their characters rich businessman Edward Lewis and “down-on-her-luck Hollywood prostitute” Vivian Ward, who's hired by Lewis to be his escort at several business and social functions and sees the development of their relationship during the course of a week together.

It's a love story, and while it can happen, it's not how most escorts would want things to play out with their clients. Professionally, emotional attachments to their clients aren't necessarily good for business. Escorts don't always engage with their clients sexually. Some clients just want someone to listen to them, or to play a role, and so it's often said that escorts can become like counsellors or a means in which their clients can portray themselves to impress their own business clients.

Then there is the stigma, which isn't significantly portrayed in the film of the term 'prostitute', which perhaps makes most escorts keep their work to themselves. There is also the perception that escorts and prostitutes go into their profession due to exploitation and poverty. For example, Leigh McManus and Jack Clover write in their Daily Star article 'Hard-up army wives 'living in poverty' turn to sex work because of cost-of-living crisis' of 7^th August 2022.

Escorting exceptions

However, there are some exceptions. Joe Brophy' 'Call Boy Confession' of 15^th May 2019 tells the story of a male escort called Alex, who was at 29 at the time – based in Sydney, and who can earn up to £8,000 for his services – often tipped by husbands to give their wives the Fifty Shades of Grey experience. Brophy cites an interview he did with Daily Mail Australia: "I get women from all walks of life. From single mums to businesswomen, age is usually between 35 and 45 but occasionally, I get girls as young as 18 for their first-time sexual experience."

Women hire him because they have time on their hands and are often disappointed by their partners in the bedroom. He nevertheless as been tipped by wives' husbands, and on one occasion he received a $1,000 (£536) tip from a husband who wanted him to have sex with his wife. He says both wife and hubby were pleased with his performance.

Still, there is a cloud of mystery and secrecy around escorting because of the stigma that surrounds it as a profession. To maintain the confidentiality of their clients – who may come from a variety of backgrounds such as Premier League footballers to judges and politicians, they may take steps such as having two or more mobile phones, a professional pseudonym, and a cover story to hide their own identity to ensure that family, friends and in some cases employers of a normal day job don't find out.

Family support

Then again, there are exceptions to the rule. Lydia Hawken, writes for The Sun on 17^th January 2021 that a full-time mum helped her husband to become an escort “after [the] coronavirus pandemic left them strapped for cash.” The mum had previously worked as an escort herself. The mum – Nikki – knew it's possible to earn thousands of pounds a month through her line of work. She explains in the article why she supported her husband at a time when social distancing order were in place:

"At first I wasn't sure, but with social distancing, his dates wouldn't have involved sex anyway, they were just dinner dates." However, he confessed that she wouldn't be bothered if her husband did have sex with his clients, so long as it was to keep a roof over their own heads. While Nikki has been supportive of her husband, the couple are keeping his work a secret from their children. This is often done to ensure that friends and family members don't get upset, embarrassed or feel a backlash. Confidentiality can also help to protect relationships with family, friends, and others. There are nevertheless examples of escorts being able to open about their work, but they are an exception too.