Can you be a feminist and an escort?

Can You Be A Feminist And An Escort?

Compounded with the fact that sex work is still considered dirty and immoral by societies across the globe, feminist escorts always find they have to explain themselves to be understood, even regarding their stance on the patriarchy. To be fair, there is a fair argument on both sides of the aisle regarding escorting and feminism (as we'll see below). But the idea that escorts cannot be feminists is unfair on many levels.

Who is a feminist?

In the most basic definition, a feminist is anyone, male or female, that believes that women should have equal rights and opportunities as men across all spheres of life. Feminism includes a range of movements that aim to achieve equality of sexes. Traditional ways of living never subscribed to this point of view. Right from when the early ages, women were bound to men as subservient partners whose only profession was in the household. Their opportunities and choices were bound to what the men in their lives wanted or chose for them.

Major aspects of society and many defining ways of life were crafted from the male point of view because men were in charge. In some cultures, women were considered to have lesser mental capacity than men. As generations have gone by, and women have started standing up for their rights, women everywhere have started to push back against this repressive way of life. Feminism is the ideology that was borne of this push-back. It aims to break down the patriarchy and allow more room for women to stand up for themselves.

Feminism and sex work

Feminism and sex work always find themselves at crossroads. Because sex work in its most basic form revolves around women pleasing men without considering their needs and wants, it seems to subscribe to the exact old-age notion of men controlling women that feminism is trying to do away with. Sex work has been around for centuries, which explains why its practices are bound to be at buttheads with feminism, an ideology that has been forming over the last century.

Can you be a feminist and an escort?

As mentioned earlier, there are strong arguments on both sides of this question.

The argument in rebuke

Looking at it from the point of view of the 'core' feminist, one cannot be a verified escort and still say they are a feminist. That's because, in every possible way, escorting is all about accommodating men's desires, something that patriarchy is all about. Escorting supports the patriarchal point of view that women are just creatures of pleasure, creatures that men don't have to be answerable to. By its nature, escorting is about what the client wants.

The woman makes sure he's feeling pleasure; meanwhile, she can't care whether she feels good herself or not. It's like escorting takes all manner of choice for the women and gives it to men. Many escorts say they are in charge, so they are feminists, but if you are still allowing a man to use you so you can survive, that's not being in charge. When one considers that many escorts today are in the line of trade because it's their last resort, it suggests that many are willing to do anything to please men who are their clients, regardless of their own wants and needs. This is a clear illustration of women struggling to stay alive.

The argument in support

Feminism is about gender equality in its broadest sense, but it's also taking back control and having more choices. It's about women supporting each other's choices. If a woman decides to become an escort at her own will, that is an expression of feminism because she is in control. Her choice of career should not be rebuked and called anti-feminist because it's unlike all the other glass ceiling-crashing careers other women have chosen. If she is in it willingly, she deserves every bit of respect for her choice, just as any other woman. It's worth noting that she can always switch professions, so she has a choice. Just because she serves the needs of men doesn't mean she can't be in control. Fundamentally, women can be feminists regardless of their chosen careers.

How to be a Feminist and an escort?

Choosing to be an escort in the first place

The first expression of feminism any escort can employ is choosing to be an escort. Many escorts and sex workers around the world are forced into the trade, often with mistreatment and no exit as part of the package. The simple fact that you can choose to be an escort, knowing only too well the trappings of such a career, echoes the core feminist sentiment about women making their own choices. The reasons for choosing a career in the sex industry differ. You could love regular sex or need an extra job, or something else altogether. Despite what anyone else might say, choosing to become an escort doesn't mean you've given up your feminist ideals. It is instead a major expression of those ideals.

Setting your rates as you like them

One common reference many critics of sex work use in regards to feminism is that escorting is a way of giving in to the demands of the patriarchy. This might appear true from one point of view, but other points of view beg to differ. One way escorts can be feminists is by setting their own rates for their services. Millions of escorts already do this unknowingly. Referring to the common reference mentioned earlier, it is a general understanding that women who take part in sex work give in their bodies for men to use, echoing the gender imbalance that feminism aims to stop. By setting prices at which men can view and use their bodies, escorts take back the narrative and flip it over its own head. They build up great escort reviews like the ones you will see in london, and become successful in their line of work with more freedom to choose their clients. It is a sign of knowing one's worth, not the usual tale of one sex appearing worthless in another's eyes. This ability to take control and have a choice in the defining aspects of the job makes an escort a feminist.

Setting rules around your services

As is common knowledge, all escorts create rules around their services, designed to support and protect them as they offer their services. These rules tend to cover how an escort is paid, how an escort is handled by her client, how a client should handle themselves, what is acceptable (and what isn't), and much more. Breaking any of the rules allows the escort the right to cancel the appointment. At a closer look, this is just another way of expressing feminism. By setting these rules, escorts take control of their situation, which is part of what feminism preaches. While the male clients might appear to be in charge, the women escorts are actually pulling all the strings with their invisible rules.

Choosing your clients yourself

In the ideal vision of escorting, men reach out to an escort with requests for either an incall or an outcall featuring her and her services. The escort then gets to choose who she wants; depending on the information she's been provided. If she says she doesn't want to sleep with Ethiopian men, she can always weed them out. Unless she needs the money so bad, she can always turn down all her clients if they do not fit the bill she wants. That is, in every way, an expression of control and choice, and this is part of what feminism asks for. When you receive requests and retain the option of sleeping with the clients of your choice, you are a feminist.

Choosing what you do in bed and what you don't

If you've always wondered if you can still be a feminist despite being an escort, the answer is that yes, you can. It doesn't just have to be a mindset or theory you subscribe to. It can be put into action. Many escorts express their feminism by determining what they are and aren't willing to do in bed with a client. Anti-sex work feminists may disagree, but when you consider that a major tenet of feminism is focused on allowing women the right to control what they do with their bodies, it starts to make sense. If you feel unwilling to try watersports, no client can force you into doing it. You're in control.

Supporting other women's choices to be escorted

When an escort supports other escorts and sex workers in their different decisions, she can officially call herself a feminist. As many a feminist will tell you, feminism isn't all about more choice and more control for women. It is also about women supporting other women's choices, regardless of whether we would have chosen to go the same way or not. The anti-sex work feminists that point fingers at sex workers assume a high-end, purist type of feminism that forgets this major core of the whole idea. If women can't support each others' choices, why then fight for an equal room for choice as men in the first place?

Be able to leave the industry when you want to

If you can choose to leave your job and exit the escorting industry any time you feel like it, you officially have a choice. Expressing that choice is a very feminist thing to do. So many escorts around the world are currently being pimped out forcefully every day, without any hope of leaving the trade. That is the kind of stifling oppression all feminists want to do away with. Any woman, whether an escort or a lawyer, deserves to have a choice regarding her career and her life.

A modern view of sex work

Conclusion

At the end of the day, the discussion on escorting and feminism is a lengthy one with no one compromise. Sex workers continue to get a lot of flak from feminists that have a very tense understanding of the feminist mindset. What kind of feminist are you if you undermine another woman's job choice? If feminism is about gender equality for all and about women supporting other women's choices, then a 'yes' should be supported, as well as a 'no.' So, yes, an escort can be a true feminist and flaunt it in both her personal and professional lives.

In fact, feminism is a bit more personal than we allow it to be. Individuals can decide whether they subscribe to feminism or not. It's also worth noting that this analysis of escorting and feminism remains very narrow when we don't consider the other genders that take part in escorting today. The inclusion of other genders has redefined escorting and sex work as we know it, and that should be added to the conversation.

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